Let's start off with some riddles, hopefully funny

Why did the baseball coach hire a piano tuner?
     Because he had a perfect pitch!

What did one germ say to the other germ?
     You're making me sick!

What fur do you get from a skunk?
     As fur as possible!

Why is Dracula unpopular?
     Because he's a pain in the neck!

Why do bagpipers usually walk when they play?
     They're trying to get away from the sound!

Why do cows wear bells?
     Because their horns don't work!

What do you call a cow who doesn't give milk?
     A Milk-Dud!

Why is a river rich?
     Because it has two banks!

 

More book titles

Computer Memory
     by Meg A. Byte

Where Have All the Animals Gone?
     by Darin Dabarn

I Was Prepared
     by Justin Case

Taking Tests
     by B. A. Wiseman

Gotta Go
     by C. U. Later

How to Eat Cereal
     by Poor A. Bowl

A Safe Hitch-hiker's Guide
     by Ren Tacar

The Art of Being Discreet
     by A. Non Amus

101 Ways to Diet
     by I. M. Hungry

 

And some more bumper stickers

Circular definition: See Definition, circular.

Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate clauses.

My life has a super cast, but I can't figure out the plot.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not sure.

Despite the cost of living, it's still popular.

Remember half the people you know are below average.

No one is listening …until you make a mistake.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

 

Some knock knocks to end it all (at last!)

Knock, knock.
      Who's there?
Little old lady.
      Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!

Knock, Knock.
      Who's there?
Anita.
      Anita who?
Anita nother minute to think it over!

Knock, knock.
      Who's there?
Adore.
      Adore who?
Adore is between us, open it up!

 

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