Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
Earth
Day
|
(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can click
here to find the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
|
1. suspended
in air
6. student of plants
8. harmful to health
10. small sized
|
2.
other options
3. built into
4. the usual, expected
5. fuel from corn
7. small garden hose
9. a momento |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
|
1. losers left out
7. participant involved
8. ordinary, regular
9. approved for tourney
|
1.
go beyond the usual
2. played music
3. non-native
4. the set, background
5. desperate
6. game plans
|
Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
|
3.
asked to join group
5. folded paper art
7. say you're sorry
8. try out for part
10. disease of blood
|
1.
one paid to perform
2. commit to memory
4. the storyteller
6. musical performance
9. two performers |
April
Connections
| Across |
Down |
|
3.
replace coats
4. month after
5. comes later
6. the fourth of 12
8. bring May flowers
10. usually in April
11. see more ot
12. comes earlier
|
1.
from Spring fever
2. month before
7. fifteenth deadline
9. first game of season |
Jokes (a few to start off with)
Why did it take the monster ten months to finish the book?
Because he wasn't very hungry!
Why don't mountains get cold in winter?
They wear snow caps!
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
What flower grows on your face?
Tulips!
How do you make a hotdog stand?
You steal its chair!
Why did the computer squeak?
Someone stepped on its mouse!
Did you hear what happened at the Laundromat last night?
Three clothespins held up two shirts!
Teacher: Tommy, what's the chemical formula for water?
Tommy: HIJKLMNO
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Tommy: Well, yesterday you said it was
H to O!
Some oxymorons
Freezer burn
Exact estimate
Rap music
Pretty ugly
Jumbo shrimp
Plastic glasses
Taped live
Clearly misunderstood
New classic
Soft rock
Small crowd
Everything except
Genuine imitation
Holy war
Found missing
One liners
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane!
What happens if you get scared to death twice?
Energizer bunny arrested; charged with battery!
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
I know the speed of light; what's the speed of dark?
Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines!
Knock, Knocks (finally!)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Uruguay.
Uruguay who?
You go Uruguay and I'll go mine!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Acid.
Acid who?
Acid down and be quiet!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Adair.
Adair who?
Adair once, now I'm bald!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alma.
Alma who?
Alma not going to tell you!
|
