Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
"Hey, over there...those two look
like a couple of fish out of water."
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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3. have low resistance
7. hereditary
9. one who receives
10. fact-based film
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1.
restoring to health
2. liquid or pill
4. move irregularly
5. news writing
6. one who gives
8. a classification |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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1. musical instrument
3. two persons perform
7. protects environment
9. places of action
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2.
speeded up
3. adheres to task
4. to add onto
5. legendary
6. brothers, sisters
8. one person performs
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
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3.
texture of food
4. put special emphasis
7. parts in a recipe
9. something extra
10. relates to cooking
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1.
think noodle pasta
2. a working together
5. largest bird
6. made with eggs
8. a speculation
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From
Book Reviews
| Across |
Down |
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2.
a sudden idea
5. hindrances
8. a trainer, guide
9. a sale for bidders
10. negative about life
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1. unfocused, slovenly
3. a helper and trainee
4. have poisonous sting
6. deserted, empty
7. aquatic mammal
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Jokes (a variety to start off)
What was the snail doing on the highway?
About a mile a day!
What should you do if you see a gorilla sitting at your desk?
Sit somewhere else!
What is Smokey the Bear's middle name?
"the"!
What happened when the cat slept under the car?
She woke up oily the next morning!
What criminal is the strongest?
A shop-lifter!
Why are hamburgers better than hotdogs?
Because hotdogs are the wurst!
What state has the smallest drink?
Minnesota (Mini-soda)!
What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas!
What kind of nut has no shell?
A doughnut!
A dozen new book titles
Planning your Vacation
By Holly Day
Easy Money
By Robin Banks
Photography Made Easy
By Say Cheese
Preparing for Emergencies
By Justin Case
Obeying the Law
By Ima Goodlady
Exercising for Health
By Ben Dover
Ponies and Other Horses
By Don Key
How to Tell the Truth
By I. B. Lyon
The Hypnosis Guidebook
By Ena Trance
Physical Education Handbook
By Jim Shorts
Life's Ups and Downs
By Ella Vator
The Eating Crayons Diet
By Cray Ola
Just a Joke (hopefully funny)
A man goes into a pet store. He asks for a pet that does everything,
so the store manager sells him a centipede. The man takes it
home. He tells is to clean the bathroom. It does. He tells it
to scrub the kitchen floor. It does that. He tells it to go
down to the corner and pick up a newspaper. Ten minute go by
and no centipede. Fifteen more minutes go by, still no centipede.
The man walks to the door and finds the centipede sitting on
the porch. "I told you to get me a paper," the man said. The
centipede replied, "Okay, but I'm still putting my shoes on!"
Our usual knock knock finale
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
House.
House who?
House it going?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you doing inside on such a nice day?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Hawaii.
Hawaii who?
I'm fine, Hawaii you?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Diesel.
Diesel who?
Diesel be your last chance to open the door!
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