Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
|
3. deep-sided valley
5. locally related
6. try out for show
7. things completed
9. room-to-room talk
|
1. public
attention
2. functional spaces
4. wide ranging
8. two choice limit
|
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
|
2. leads one to action
5. uniform in behavior
8. moved with risk
|
1.
studies diseases
2. required
3. a moving out
4. not real or natural
6. fascinated by
7. tested, evaluated
|
Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
|
2.
confinement
4. a regular pattern
6. proceeding with care
8. a particular place
9. one form or type
10. endurance
|
1.
holding in mind
3. wrestle while down
5. wrestle to ground
7. at edge of city
|
From
book reviews
| Across |
Down |
|
3.
unwilling
5. a punishment period
9. a druggist
11. unable to leave
12. mean, unpleasant
|
1. ill feeling
2. dangerous disease
4. fixes machines
6. uneasily quiet
7. uncontrolled
8. continuous fighting
10. treatment
|
Jokes (recycled from 2003)
Let's start off with some school jokes
Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel well.
Father: Where don't you feel well?
Son: In school!
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
History teacher: Class, how did Columbus's men sleep
on their ship?
Class wise guy: With their eyes closed!
Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?
Pupil: Dead! I didn't even know it was sick!
What are you going to be when you get out of school?
An old man!
Some riddles
What would you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers!
Why are skeletons always so calm?
Because nothing gets under
their skin!
Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights!
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
How do undertakers speak?
Gravely!
Where do mummies go if they want to swim?
The Dead Sea!
What happened when a ghost asked for drink at the local bar?
The bartender said, " Sorry
sir, we don't serve spirits here"!
Doing a term paper about witches? Some reference books follow.
(And yes I know Halloween is not in April.)
"Never Make a Witch Angry"
by Sheila Tack
"Going on a Witch Hunt"
by Count Miout
"I Saw a Witch in the Mirror"
by Douglas Cracked
"The Ghost of a Witch"
by Eve L. Spirit
"I Thought I Saw a Witch"
by Denise R. Knockin
"How to Be a Witch"
by Ruth Less
"When to Go Witch Hunting"
by Mae B. Tomorrow
Another play on words
As migration time approached, two elderly vultures were too
tired to fly south on their own. So they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked in at the airport, the gate attendant noticed
they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check
the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked. "No, thanks," replied
the vultures, "They're carrion."
And our final knock, knocks
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ocelot.
Ocelot who?
Ocelot a questions, don't you?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive just around the corner.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange juice?
Orange juice who?
Orange juice sorry you asked?
|
