Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
"I
hate August. There's always tar on my
feet and tar in my food."
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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1. gets people involved
5. animal care
7. achieved goal
9. earnngs from event
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1.
two-way involvement
2. inclination to do
3. infants
4. grooming articles
6. from distant past
8. task undertaken |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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1. air safety device
5. standard setting
6. studies life forms
8. wild game birds
9. population movement
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2.
related to academics
3. based on chance
4. informed counselor
7. light enough to fly
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
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1.
in ascending order
4. happily
5. copied off line
7. impressive, large
8. selected place
9. special luggage
10. a lengthy story
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2.
beyond expectations
3. printed flyer
6. outstanding status
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Potter
Puzzle Revisited
| Across |
Down |
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3.
wizard school
6. a house elf
9. regular people
10. school's headmaster
11. Dumbledore's bird
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1. Harry's "house"
2. evil villain
4. Harry's family
5. flying sport
7. serious student
8. Harry's owl
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Recycled jokes from earlier issues of YSL - much earlier
Computer jokes
"Did you turn the computer on with your right hand or your
left hand?
"My right hand."
"That's amazing. Most people have to use the on-off switch!"
"I've been on my computer almost all night."
"For goodness sake, don't you
think you'd be more comfortable in bed like everyone else?"
Customer: "The computer you charged me $500 for doesn't work…and
you said it would be trouble free."
Salesman: "It is… I charged
you $500 for the computer, but the trouble is absolutely free!"
"What kind of ink do you put in your computer's printer …black,
red or iced ink?"
"Iced ink?"
"Well, yes you do, but I didn't want to mention it!"
Monster jokes
For his birthday, the monster asked for a heavy sweater. So
they gave him a sumo-wrestler!
Why did the monster put the birthday cake in the freezer?
Because he had been told to
ice it!
What do you do with a blue monster?
Try to cheer him up!
What's a monster's favorite game?
Swallow the leader!
Did you hear about the monster who went on a crash diet?
Yeah, he wrecked two cars and
a bus!
First monster: That girl over there rolled her eyes at me.
Second monster: Well, roll
them back. She might need them again!
Boy Number 1: I'm gong to keep this monster under my bed.
Boy Number 2: What about the
terrible smell?
Boy Number 1: He'll just have to get used to it!
What happened to the monster who ran away with the circus?
The police made him bring it
back!
What happens when monsters hold a beauty contest?
Nobody wins!
Plus some old knock knocks
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Attila.
Attila who?
Attila no lies!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Razor.
Razor who?
Razor hands. This is a stick up!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Alex the questions around here!
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