Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
"I
hate August. There's always tar on my feet
and tar in my food."
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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4. put
out flames
6. a neighborhood
8. clear out population
9. plan of action
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1.
positive attitude
2. make less important
3. a destructive event
5. raging hot fire
7. waves of smoke |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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1. children's doctor
7. an introduction
8. stylized dance
9. in office radio
|
1.
pictures of people
2. managers
3. not simple
4. designs buildings
5. room for display
6. an artistic approach
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
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2.
cutting apart
7. meeting of parts
8. the follow-up story
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1.
hold bones together
3. offered ideas
4. displays objects
5. unforgettable
6. quite different from
7. rolled tobacco
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From
book reviews
| Across |
Down |
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3.
human-like primates
4. study of past
9. left behind
11. white-haired dog
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1. still functioning
2. Dr. Jones' nickname
5. big dog, loves water
6. barriers, problems
7. fake figures
8. drawn characters
10. several vehicles
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Let's start off with some recycled dog jokes
What do you call a Happy Lassie?
A Jolly Collie!
What did the cowboy say when a bear ate Lassie?
"Well, doggone!"
Why do dogs wag their tails?
Because no one else will do
it for them!
How can you tell if you have a stupid dog?
It chases parked cars!
What do you do if your dog eats your ballpoint pen?
Use your pencil instead!
What is a dog's favorite food?
Anything that's on your plate!
How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight?
Delighted!
Now, some "romantic" jokes
The computer-dating agency picked me out as a boyfriend.
Yeah, sure, but who wants to
go out with a computer!
What happened to the couple who met in a revolving door?
Oh, they're still going round
together!
I got a lovely kitten for my girlfriend.
I wish I could make a trade
like that!
My girlfriend has beautiful hair all down her back.
Oh, what a shame it's not on
her head!
The girl that I marry will have to take a joke.
Of course, that's the only
kind you're ever going to get!
What's the wife of a hippy called?
Mississippi!
Our usual knock, knock finale
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Hammond.
Hammond who?
Hammond eggs!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Harmony.
Harmony who?
Harmony knock knock jokes do you expect me to know?
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