Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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2. to cooperate
4. eaten by others
6. eats other animals
7. move one to act
8. trouble one is in
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1. resources
saving
2. groups acting as one
3. pumped up
5. existing no longer
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Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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1. added together
3. bow and arrow sport
4. related to education
6. glass home for fish
7. celebrity signatures
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1.
famous persons
2. an adding of value
5. memorable event
8. income, earnings
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
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4.
studies behavior
5. a working part
7. pilot in outer space
8. balance in nature
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1.
naturally absorbed
2. affecting each other
3. an earning on stock
6. place to bury trash
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From
book reviews
| Across |
Down |
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1.
cannot be seen
4. cordial treatment
5. hard to believe
6. a type of amphibian
8. studies the stars
9. a bad dream
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2. animal doctor
3. unreal, fake
7. not a professional
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From
movie review
| Across |
Down |
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1.
game wizards play
3. influenced by devil
5. kissing
8. a non-wizard
9. pushy photographers
10. wizard school
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2. head of Hogwarts
4. devious plans
6. enemy of Harry
7. threatening, evil
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Jokes
Mother: What was the first thing you learned today
in class?
Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!
Mom: Have you finished filling the salt shaker?
Son: Not yet. It's hard to get the salt through all those
little holes!
What was Camelot famous for?
Its knight life!
Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many
knights!
What was Camelot?
A place where people parked
their camels!
What kind of lights did Noah use for the ark?
Floodlights!
Why did King Arthur have a round table?
So no one could corner him!
What is an archeologist?
Someone whose career is in
ruins!
Have you ever seen a man eating tiger?
No, but I once saw a man eating
chicken!
What is a myth?
A female moth!
How many balls of string would it take to reach the moon?
One, if it's long enough!
Why does a flamingo lift one leg?
Because if it lifted up both,
it would fall down!
How about a long one? Almost a shaggy dog story…
"I want you to stop my son gambling," an anxious father said
to the boy's principal. "I don't know where he gets it from,
but it's bet, bet, bet." "Leave it to me," said the principal.
A week later, he phoned the boy's father. "I think I've cured
him," he said. "How?" asked the father. "Well, I saw him looking
at my beard and he said, 'I bet that's a false beard.' " "How
much?" I said, and he said, "Five dollars." "What happened?"
asked the father. "Well, he tugged my beard, which is quite
natural, and I made him give me five dollars. I'm sure that
will teach him a lesson!" "No, it won't," said the father. "He
bet me ten dollars on Monday that he'd pull your beard with
your permission by the end of the week!"
Our usual final knock, knocks
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore wasn't open, so I knocked!
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Daisy.
Daisy who?
Daisy you are in, but I didn't believe them!
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Thermos.
Thermos who?
Thermos be better knock, knock jokes than these!
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