Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
"I
know it's the night before Christmas, but with
last minute cards to write, presents to wrap
and the tree still to decorate, it's hard not
to stir."
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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5. violin-like
6. supporting gifts
9. stop frame filming
11. begin again
12. very high quality
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1.
speak two languages
2. filming a movie
3. cowboy's instrument
4. extinct reptiles
7. vewers/listeners
8. group of musicians
10. part of the universe |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
|
1. a cheese dip
6. highly involved
8. action inducing
9. physical preparation
|
2.
self-conciousness
3. vote of support
4. adversary
5. widespread laughter
6. vehicle repairmen
7. contest, competition
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
|
1.
currently in office
4. difference between
7. reasoned views
8. counted the votes
9. education related
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2.
relates to business
3. unusually large
5. means of transit
6. induced to join
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From
Book Reviews
| Across |
Down |
|
1.
temporary, movable
5. fish-packing plant
8. well-completed act
9. has unusual ability
12. picks on weaker kids
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2. studies ancient man?
3. canoe-like boat
4. without much thought
6. simple, basic
7. left behind
10. not unusual
11. to ignore, cut off
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Jokes (Some riddles to start off with)
What did the man say when the church burned down?
Holy Smoke!
Why do people carry umbrellas?
Because umbrellas can't walk!
Why can't you take pictures of a man with a wooden leg?
Because a wooden leg is not
a camera!
What would the U.S. be called if everyone lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation!
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
Rufff!
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because the kids have to play
inside!
What did the teddy bear say when the monkey offered him dessert?
No thank you, I'm stuffed!
What do you call a 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line!
What do you call a rabbit that's owned by a beetle?
A Bugs Bunny!
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard. It's the best thing
for a hot dog!
Why can't a leopard hide?
Because it's always spotted!
What do you do with a blue whale?
Try to cheer him up!
Why don't mummies go on vacation?
They are afraid they'll relax
and unwind!
What did 0 say to 8?
Nice belt!
What's the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty!
A few more that are not riddles
Teacher: Can you tell me what a unit of electricity
is called?
Student: What?
Teacher: That's correct!
Teacher: Please give me a sentence with the word centimeter
in it.
Student: My grandmother arrived at the bus
station and I was centimeter!
A family was going to Disneyland. They saw a sign that said
Disneyland Left. So they went home.
Patient: Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots?
Doctor: I never make rash promises.
Patient: Doctor, will you help me out?
Doctor: Certainly. Which way did you come in?
Patient: Doctor, I keep painting myself gold.
Doctor: Don't worry; it's just a gilt complex.
And now for some knock, knocks
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any more cookies in the jar?
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Accordian.
Accordian who?
Accordion to the Weather Channel, it's going to snow tomorrow!
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Pasture.
Pasture who?
Pasture bedtime isn't it?
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like to stand out here while some dope keeps asking
you who's there?
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