Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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1. targeted skills
6. animal doctor
7. stories
8. changes made
9. troubles
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2. opposition
3. a hindrance
4. a viewpoint
5. work clothes
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Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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1. planned approaches
9. large, horned animal
10. correct
|
2.
a guess
3. informational volume
4. short writing
5. several
6. person's qualities
7. way of viewing
8. to no longer partake
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
|
3.
seeming not to care
4. good for health
7. unreasonable fear
8. unrealistic artwork
9. raised in height
|
1.
cannot be forcast
2. soft color shade
5. lost in competition
6. naturally produced
7. flat grassland
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From
book reviews
| Across |
Down |
|
2.
deer-like animals
6. compelled
8. mean spirited
9. up for election
10. free-living person
|
1. stand-offish
3. made breathless
4. words and meanings
5. lifted up
7. where food served
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Jokes
some winter holiday jokes to begin
Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas?
No, you can have turkey like
everyone else!
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks, I'll never part with
it!
Noah: I thought we had two turkeys when we left.
Mrs. Noah: Well, it is Christmas!
Why does Santa Claus like to work in the garden?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe,
hoe!
First boy: What did you get for Christmas?
Second boy: A drum, the best present I ever got.
First boy: Why is that?
Second boy: My mom gives me money every week not to play
it!
Other jokes
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you!
If a reindeer lost his tail, where would he go for a new one?
A retail shop!
What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer?
I. C.!
What do you call two penguins in the Sahara Desert?
Lost!
What is the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles, because there's a mile
between each "s"!
Why did the teacher jump in the lake?
Because she wanted to test
the water!
Why did the man at the orange factory lose his job?
Because he couldn't concentrate!
What runs but can't walk?
A faucet!
Lady: Do you have spaghetti on the menu?
Waiter: No madam, I wiped it off!
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
Well, a cat has nine lives,
but a frog croaks every night!
Why is England the wettest country?
Because the queen has reigned
there for over fifty years!
Knock, knock finale
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wenceslas.
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train home?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cannelloni.
Cannelloni who?
Cannelloni some money till next week?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara is Tuesday, today is Monday.
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