Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
"I
think he looks a little like both of us."
|
(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can click
here to find the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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1. place
to live
4. to give
5. provide care
6. technical basis
9. wild, doglike
10. a classification
12. gaffs, errors
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2.
moving object's path
3. holds promise
7. follow compass
8. wild, catlike
11. uncontrolled laugh |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
|
2. difficult, involved
5. holds to the law
8. a story
9. employs science
|
1.
basis in the genes
2. working together
3. magnifies objects
4. outline, drawn plan
6. made up, acted out
7. solving crimes
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
|
1.
a coordinator
4. play a role
7. religious-type role
9. characteristics
11. filled with purpose
12. head scarf
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2.
brightly lighted
3. awkward
5. be first to present
6. an objective
8. messy, unpleasant
10. a vagrant |
More
Silly Synonyms
| Across |
Down |
|
3.
unbelievable
5. overbearing
6. upset, shock
7. active, unruly
8. roundabout
9. manipulate, scam
|
1.
lucky
2. talkative, gabby
4. rogue, rascal |
Some riddles to start off with
What nut sounds like a sneeze?
A cashew!
What's Beethoven doing in his grave?
De-composing!
Is your refrigerator running?
It is? Well, you'd better go
and catch it!
What do you call a hippie's wife?
Mississippi!
What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep?
A roaming Catholic!
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales!
Why did the spy stay in bed?
Because he was told to stay
undercover!
How do trees get on the internet?
They log in!
How do ball players stay cool in hot weather?
They stand near the fans!
How about some puns?
A man entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten
different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would
win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did!
Two Eskimos in a kayak were freezing. They lit a fire inside
the craft and it sank, proving once and for all you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.
A will is defined as a dead giveaway.
A backward poet writes inverse.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A lot of money is tainted - it taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
A man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
A man broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Actual answers (supposedly) given in science class
When you breathe you inspire. When you do not breathe you expire.
H2O is hot water. CO2 is cold water.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct
it is.
Equator: A menagerie lion running around the Earth through
Africa.
And our closing knock, knocks
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don't go around knocking on doors!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nobel.
Nobel who?
Nobel, that's why I knocked!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you doing in my house?
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