Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
|
1. coming
before this
7. cleans utensils
9. valued old piece
10. meat fat
|
2.
necessary things
3. keep track
4. insulated bottle
5. type of wild bird
6. meets requirements
8. a booklet |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
|
1. records video
4. a place, kind
6. unlike any other
8. related to medicines
9. inherited
10. future occupation
|
2.
study of chemicals
3. chaos causing
5. complimentary
7. willingness to wait
|
Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
|
3.
take second look
4. practice job
5. imposed for fouls
8. achievable goal
9. descriptive outline
10. imitate real event
|
1.
lists qualifications
2. in small particles
6. a chemical
7. restaurant type
|
February
Connections
| Across |
Down |
|
4.
often heart-shaped
7. split fence rails
9. superbowl Sunday
10. held Valetines Day
|
1. nation's first
2. conveyed in cards
3. shortest month
5. still possible
6. grown-ups' gift
8. still cold
|
Some riddles to start off
Why did it take the monster ten months to finish a book?
Because he wasn't very hungry!
If Mr. and Mrs. Bigger had a new baby, which one would be the
biggest of the three?
The baby because he'd be a little
Bigger!
Why did the boy put lipstick on his head?
He wanted to make up his mind!
Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn't want to wake the sleeping
pills!
When do you stop at green and go at red?
When eating watermelon!
Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
Because it makes you break out!
Why did the baby strawberry cry?
Because his parents were in a jam!
What is taken before you even get it?
Your picture!
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits!
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy!
What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
It got toad!
Just a joke (hopefully funny)
A woman was trying hard to get the catsup out of the bottle.
During the struggle, the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old
daughter to answer it. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child
said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the
phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."
Excerpts from a Dictionary of Medical Terms
Artery - study of painting
Bacteria - back door of cafeteria
Barium - what doctors do when treatment fails
Colic - sheep dog
Dilate - to live long
Protein - favoring young people
Seizure - Roman emperor
Tablet - a small table
Tumor - an extra pair
Varicose - located nearby
Vein - conceited
Some oxymorons
Act naturally
Found missing
Resident alien
Minor catastrophe
Near miss
Genuine imitation
Good grief
Almost exactly
Civil War
Soft rock
Taped live
Plastic glasses
Pretty ugly
Rap music
Freezer burn
Jumbo shrimp
Working vacation
Our usual knock knock ending
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Zany.
Zany who?
Zany body home?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Underwear.
Underwear who?
I underwear my momma is?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rita.
Rita who?
Rita good book instead of these dumb knock knock jokes!
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