Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
"The
birds with the white heads and tails are mature
eagles and the ones with dark heads and tails
are amateur eagles."
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can click
here to find the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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1. useful
spaces
3. the ones who receive
6. skill, aptitude
8. going beyond limits
9. an extra benefit
10. designated, precise
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2.
make work together
4. where church is held
5. unpaid worker
7. paying patrons |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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1. seeks answers
4. carried on line
5. to wear out
11. student of animals
12. a catastrophe
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2.
written prose
3. resource protection
6. horns on deer
7. a stressed point
8. type of bush
9. reasoned criticism
10. a web site offering
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
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3.
a block, impediment
5. how one is known
9. category
10. unpredictable
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1.
difficult to unravel
2. collection of stocks
4. a leaning toward
6. a time plan
7. immitate
8. pitiful |
Tough
Synonyms
| Across |
Down |
|
1.
hardworking
3. messy
5. friendly
9. sneaky
10. brief
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2.
lazy
4. opponent
6. far
7. poisonous
8. rest |
Let's start with some miscellaneous jokes
Why did Cinderella's soccer team always lose?
Because her coach was a pumpkin!
A butcher is six feet tall, wears size 14 shoes, and has a
50 inch waist. What does he weigh?
Meat!
Why is the sun so bright?
It pays attention in class and always does its homework!
A man driving through the woods hit a rabbit. Quickly stopping
his car he pours a bottle of liquid over the rabbit. The rabbit
jumps up and runs into the woods waving all the way. What was
in the bottle?
Hare restorer with permanent wave!
Johnny's mother had four children. The first was April, the
second was May, and the third was June. What was the name of
the fourth?
Johnny!
Why is it against the law for a man living in North Carolina
to be buried in South Carolina?
He's still alive!
Why didn't the hotdog star in the movies?
The rolls weren't good enough!
Eskimos are very good hunters. Why don't they ever hunt penguins?
Because Eskimos live at the North Pole and penguins live
at the South Pole!
Questioning our crazy language
Did you know that verb was a noun?
If a word in misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever
know?
Is there another word for synonym?
Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why is it we recite at a play and play at a recital?
More strange license plates
I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
Suburbia: Where they cut down all the trees and then name streets
after them.
Adults are just kids who owe money.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
It works better if you plug it in.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Taxation with representation is not so hot either.
Knock, knocks to end it all
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Midas.
Midas who?
Midas well let me in!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Vera.
Vera who?
Vera few people think these jokes are funny!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Andy.
Andy who?
Andy time to quit is right now!
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