Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
|
2. bringing
in eats
5. to reach a goal
7. success in planning
8. job learners
10. transportable
|
1.
an assigned label
3. monitors spending
4. a positive relating
6. earth's pull
9. different, exciting |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
|
2. recipe's parts
4. receive all votes
5. early plant stage
6. a green vegetable
8. dangerous, excessive
9. that left behind
10. usually a dome
|
1.
consider all options
3. three sided
7. an occupational path
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
|
3.
body functions study
4. starting again
5. parts of eyes
6. replace an organ
8. high up
9. heart, liver, etc.
|
1.
changes in design
2. attached to bones
4. to make correct
6. severe body stress
7. study of body parts
|
From
Book Reviews
| Across |
Down |
|
1.
left behind
8. not exceptional
9. wealthy, upper class
|
1. economic downturn
2. hostile groups
3. gunmen, shooters
4. does odd jobs
5. temporary workers
6. overly fancy
7. a snobby group
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Jokes (Some recycled from YSL 2001)
I'd tell you a joke about a pencil…but it doesn't have a point!
Did you hear about the fool who keeps saying "no?"
No.
Oh, so it's YOU!
Why did the lazy man want a job in a bakery?
So he could loaf around!
Did you hear about the little boy they named after his father?
Oh yes, they called him "dad!"
Why can't you play a joke on a snake?
Because you can't pull its
leg!
What do you call a short-legged tramp?
A low down bum!
Why did the clock get sick?
Because it was run down!
Why is it difficult to open a piano?
Because all the keys are on
the inside!
How did the flea learn to use the internet?
He had to start from scratch!
Useless Inventions
Non-stick scotch tape
Smooth sandpaper
Fireproof matches
Inflatable dartboard
Silent alarm clock
Braille driver's manual
More dumb jokes
What did the policeman say when the spider ran down his back?
You're under a vest!
Where does the king keep his armies?
Under his sleevies!
What do you get if you poor hot water down a bunny hole?
Hot cross bunnies!
On what side does the chicken have most feathers?
The outside!
Why did the snowman call his dog "Frost?"
Because Frost bites!
Now, for our ending knock, knocks
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ear.
Ear who?
Ear you are! I've been looking for you!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dakota.
Dakota who?
Dakota is too long in the arms!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Abbott.
Abbott who?
Abbott time you opened this door!
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