Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
"You
distract him and I'll go for the carrot"
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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2. religious
ceremony
4. 3-way competition
6. old, established
7. studies small things
8. used to innoculate
9. try out for part
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1.
mouth organ
3. practices
5. long-time occurring |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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3. already successful
4. designated amount
5. rebuilding of health
6. be fascinated with
7. connections between
8. life stories
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1.
change one's form
2. beyond high school
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
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3.
recognize existence
5. strong, successful
6. main office located
9. complicated
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1.
drawings, pictures
2. breaks in houses
4. spread in many areas
7. unpredictable
8. means of automation
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From
Book Reviews
| Across |
Down |
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1.
relative from past
3. mean, cruel
5. gather together
8. one's best age
10. hired on trial
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2. unwillingly
4. bothers, begs
6. annoying
7. goods on ships
8. robbers at sea
9. conversation
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Jokes (some funny, some who knows?)
Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
So he could be polyunsaturated?
What did the duck say when she bought lipstick?
Put it on my bill!
Did you hear about the two silkworms who had a race?
They ended up in a tie!
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Fingernails!
How do locomotives hear?
Through the engineers!
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they have honeycombs!
Why is tennis such a loud game?
Because each player raises
a racquet!
Why are giraffes slow to apologize?
It takes them a long time to
swallow their pride!
Book Titles (You know by now, I love these!)
A Whole Lot of Cats
by Kit and Kaboodle
Acrophobia Explained
by Alfredo Heights
All Alone
by Saul E. Terry
April Fool
by Sue Prize
Armed Heists
by Robin Banks
Bad Gardeners
by Wilt Plant
Boy Scout Handbook
by Casey Needzit
Cheaper than IBM
by P.C. Clone
Chinese Apathy
by Hu Cares
Come on In!
by Doris Open
Explaining It Better
by Clara Fie
Falling Trees
by Tim Burr
Financial Insecurity
by Wilma Moneylast
I Read You Like a Book
by Clara Voiyant
Silly Signs
At a towing company:
We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
At an auto body shop:
May we have the next dents?
At the electric company:
We would be delighted if you would send in your bill. However,
if you don't, you will be!
At a car lot:
The best way to get on your feet is to miss a car payment.
At a funeral parlor:
Ask about our layaway plan.
At a muffler shop:
No appointment needed. We heard you coming.
On a plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.
On the side of a road:
Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs!
Knock Knock Finale
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time to tell you another joke!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Kook.
Kook who?
You know you may have a future in Swiss clocks!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Isabel.
Isabel who?
Isabel working? I had to knock!
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