Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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2. like a song
6. warmness or coldness
8. shoreline
9. big numbers of
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1. best
example of
3. figuring out answers
4. worth remembering
5. brave female
7. try outs for plays
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Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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1. collection of stocks
5. upset conditions
6. additions
7. a barrier
8. market gain
9. ability to move
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2.
related to law
3. stock purchase
4. right to compete
6. type of initials
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
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3.
complex
5. constructing to plan
6. accumulated things
8. trophy preserving
9. no longer changing
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1.
children's doctor
2. officially approved
4. properly working
7. related to ocean
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From
book reviews
| Across |
Down |
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4.
crippled below waist
7. visited by ghosts
9. complicated
10. an entertainer
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1. to spy on
2. ornate writing
3. money related
5. accumulated stories
6. learning related
8. adopted parent
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Jokes
Let' start out with some school jokes
"What were you before you came to school, boys and girls?"
asked the teacher, hoping they would say "babies." She was really
disappointed when all the children yelled "happy!"
Tom's teacher reports that Tom is a "wonder child." She wonders
whether Tom will ever learn anything at all!
"I'm not going to school today," Alexander said to his mother.
"The teachers bully me and the other boys in school don't like
me." "Don't be silly," said the mother. "You're thirty-six years
old and besides, you're the principal."
Some dumb riddles and other stuff
What increases its value by being turned upside down?
The number 6!
If a woman is born in Italy, grows up in England, goes to
America, and dies many years later in St. Louis, What is she?
Dead!
Why did the girl buy a set of tools?
Because everyone said she had
a screw loose!
Why do we dress girl babies in pink and boy babies in blue?
Because they can't dress themselves!
What did the girl say when she opened her piggybank and found
nothing in it?
OICURMT.
Why did the girl's grandmother send her three socks for Christmas?
Because the girl had written
to say she had grown another foot!
1st person: "I've been bitten in the arm by a snake."
2nd person: "Which one?"
1st person: I don't know, one snakes looks pretty much
like the next one to me!"
What does a person have to know before teaching tricks to
a dog?
More than the dog!
Why shouldn't you sweep out a room?
Because the job is too big.
Just sweep out the dirt and leave the room there!
Goofy book titles
When Shall We Meet Again?
By Miles Apart
Will He Win?
By Betty Wont
Crossing Roads Safely
By Luke Bothways
The Lady Artist
By Andrew Pictures
Don't Wake the Baby
By Elsie Cries
The Haunted Room
By Hugo First
Late Again
By Misty Bus
The Big Bang
By Dinah Mite
The Garlic Eater
By I. Malone
Let's end with knocks, knocks
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dennis.
Dennis who?
Dennis says I need to have a tooth out!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Francis.
Francis who?
Francis next to Germany!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rita.
Rita who?
Rita good book, you might learn something!
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