Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
"That's
what I want to be when I grow up."
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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1. rebuilt
like new
3. exemplified by
5. doctor for kids
6. able to participate
8. family members
9. where one is headed
10. offers work for free
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2.
designs dances
4. necessary repairs
7. African hunting trip |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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3. educational offering
4. philanthropic group
7. funds for education
8. the 26 letters
9. direction finder
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1.
one paid for service
2. studies the outdoors
5. the main team
6. eats other animals
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
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1.
final resting place
7. placements
9. fortified ground
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2.
big fan of something
3. chances in life
4. not easily forgotten
5. fact-giving film
6. learn compass use
8. to make better |
Words
Rhyming With July
| Across |
Down |
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4.
provide number basis
8. without moisture
9. make excuses for
11. close by
12. an answer
15. knot together
16. form of cooking
17. to purchase
18. a questioning word
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1. to bless
2. where pigs live
3. a grain
5. above us
6. make available
7. earn right place to play
8. say it's not true
10. build walls around
13. to recline
16. use wings
17. a farewell
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A regular joke to start off with
Members of Little Johnny's kindergarten class were on a fieldtrip
to the local police station where they saw tacked to the bulletin
board pictures of the ten most wanted criminals. One of the
kids pointed to one of the pictures and asked if it was the
photo of a crook. "Yes," said the policeman, "The detectives
want very badly to catch him." Little Johnny quickly spoke up
and asked, "Why didn't you just keep him when you took his picture?"
Puns to think about
Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like bananas.
A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours. It taint mine.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Once you've seen a shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
Marathon runners who wear bad footwear suffer the agony of
defeat.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Some bumper stickers
HANG UP AND DRIVE!
Forget world peace - visualize turning off your turn signal!
Where there's a will, I want to be in it!
If we quit voting, will they all go away?
This bumper sticker exploits illiterates!
Honk if anything falls off!
Support your State Troopers - Drive really fast!
Procrastinate now!
My dog can lick anyone!
I am the person your parents warned you about!
I don't suffer from insanity…I'm a carrier!
Some advice from little kids
Stay away from prunes
You can't hide broccoli in a glass of milk
If you want a kitten, start out asking for a horse
Felt tip markers are not to be used as lipstick
Never try to baptize a cat
When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" Don't
answer.
Plastic toys do not like ovens
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes
Never spit when on a roller coaster
Don't let your mom comb your hair when she's mad at dad
Our usual sign-off knock, knock jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Adore.
Adore who.
Adore stands between you and me.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Isaiah.
Isaiah who?
Isaiah nothing till you open the door!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you'll see!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Thermos.
Thermos who?
Thermos better be better knock, knock jokes than these!
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