Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
|
1. descriptive numbers
4. exact reproducing
6. a brief play
7. area cover
9. completed activities
10. stringed instrument
|
2.
specialized skills
3. expected regularity
5. operates on nerves
8. adaptable, bendable |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
|
1. maker of maps
4. biting, hurtful
5. study of rocks
6. before recorded time
7. source of rocks, sand
8. prehistoric reptile
|
2.
put back together
3. one type or example
4. contest participants
|
Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
|
5.
Indian axes
6. type of license
8. prehistoric remains
9. someone looked up to
|
1.
momentoes
2. early life study
3. mathematical form
4. widespread
7. unmatched
|
Words
from Book Reviews
| Across |
Down |
|
5.
events, happenings
6. a closed group
8. show ability
9. picks on others
10. thin, angular
|
1. piled up
2. at the same instant
3. desperately
4. an active ghost
7. train, develop skill
|
Jokes
What are two things you cannot eat for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
Every day you'll rise and shine!
Why is a baseball team like a muffin?
They both depend on the batter!
What runs but never gets anywhere?
A refrigerator!
What runs but can't walk?
A faucet!
Why do sharks swim only in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Did you hear about the guy who couldn't understand why he
had only three brothers when his sister had four?
Two boys from the city went on a camping trip. The mosquitoes
were so bad the boys had to hide under their blankets to keep
from being bitten. Then one of them saw some lightening bugs,
and said to his friend, "We might as well give up, they're coming
at us with flashlights!"
How about our crazy language?
How come a fat chance and a slim chance mean the same, while
a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by
filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights
are out, they are invisible. When I wind up my watch, I start
it, but when I wind up a story I'm telling, I stop it.
Why do people recite at a play, but play at a recital?
Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea
pig is neither from Guinea or a pig.
Enough of this torture, let's end it with our usual knock
knocks
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any more cookies in the jar?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ike.
Ike who?
Ike cans stop laughing at these jokes!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Element.
Element who?
Element to tell you she can't see you today!
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Waddle.
Waddle who?
Waddle you give me to stop telling these awful knock, knock
jokes?
|
