Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
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2. individual programs
4. another option
6. biological cutting
9. gains from the past
10. numerical statements
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1. various
sides
3. unusual things
5. most important
7. fascinated
8. proper behavior
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Puzzle #2
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3. related to pet care
8. occures without intent
9. young trainees
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1.
sponsoring groups
2. earning spot in race
4. mimics reality
5. specialized worker
6. practice exercises
7. quiet movement
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Puzzle
#3
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1.
saves records, etc.
8. user participates
9. viewers of game
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2.
steps taken to win
3. changed by
4. easy to get to
5. momentoes of game
6. talked up a lot
7. an imitation
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From
book reviews
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1.
pieces left behind
3. point of view
6. a dreaded disease
8. judged character
9. dry season
10. tiring, tense
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2. troublesome behavior
4. a life story
5. peaceful, calm
7. made up, not factual
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Jokes (recycled from June 2003)
Let's start off with a few wacky definitions
Announce - One sixteenth of a pound
Arrest - Something you do when you're tired
Barefaced - Looking like a bear
Bird of prey - Eagle who goes to church every Sunday
Boxer - A guy who stands up for another guy's rights
Cartoon - A song you sing in the car
Coincide - The sensible thing to do when it's raining
Defense - Something that goes around the yard
Electrician - A switch doctor
Expert - Someone who used to be a pert
And now they get really bad
If an elephant sat on a fence, what time would it be?
Time to get a new fence!
Did you hear about the dizzy Boy Scout?
He spent all day doing good
turns!
Did you hear about the little boy who was named after his father?
Sure, they called him "dad"!
Father: What's the matter, son?
Son: The boy next door said
I look just like you.
Father: What did you say to him?
Son: Nothing, he's bigger than
me!
The little boy came running into the kitchen. "Dad, dad," he
said, "there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face."
"Tell him you've already got
one," said the father!
Boy monster: You've got a face like a million dollars.
Boy monster: Yes, it's green
and wrinkly!
Did you hear about the boy who got worried when his nose grew
to be eleven inches long?
Yes, he thought it might become
a foot!
Dad, there's a man at the door collecting for the new swimming
pool.
Okay then, give him a glass
of water!
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
First girl: When I'm down in the dumps, I buy myself a new
hat.
Second girl: Oh, so that's
where you get them!
And we bow out with a couple of knock, knocks
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
D-1.
D-1 who?
D-1 who knocked!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dynamite.
Dynamite who?
Dynamite go out with you if you ask her nicely.
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