Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
"They don't build much of a nest
but they sure lay a lot of eggs."
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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1. writes of past
4. advertising, selling
7. a replacement
8. advertising flyer
9. illustrated
10. supernatural
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2.
detailed, complex
3. a gentle bump
5. strong in appearance
6. a change in position |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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2. sells investments
4. studies animals/fish
6. predicted of one
7. rough, stirred up
9. way to do something
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1.
bounce exerciser
3. comprehensive
5. supplies new fish
7. type of game fish
8. a baby sitter
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
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2.
playing of a part
4. a making prettier
5. related as a story
6. to persuade
7. to make smaller
8. view in best light
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1.
suitability for job
3. comes on strong
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Words
from Book Reviews
| Across |
Down |
|
4.
large, rich dwelling
6. a small amount
7. not proper
8. varied
10. one who enters
11. left vacant
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1. once in awhile
2. stoves, washers, etc.
3. short accounts
5. tuned out
9. stuck up
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Jokes
Why did the jelly roll?
Because it saw the apple turnover!
Why are birds poor?
Because money doesn't grow
on trees?
What did one autumn leaf say to another?
I'm falling for you!
How can your picket be empty and still have something in it?
When it has a hole in it!
Why did the baker rob the bank?
Because he needed the dough!
Why did the prisoner want to catch the measles?
Because he wanted to break
out!
Why do roaches like to live in other people's houses?
Because they don't have to
pay rent!
How do you get an elephant to follow you?
Act like a nut!
Why do bananas put on suntan lotion?
To keep from peeling!
Why is a room full of married people empty?
Because there's not a single
person in it!
What do lazy dogs do for fun?
Chase parked cars!
What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel!
Have you ever wondered?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?
If they are called apartments, why are they all stuck together?
If the ocean would be deeper without sponges?
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains
so popular?
Misspoken English
Doctor's office in Rome:
Specialist in women and other
diseases
Dry cleaners in Bangkok:
Drop your trousers here for best
results
Tailor shop in Hong Kong:
Order your summers suit, Because
is big rush we will execute customers
in strict rotation.
Austrian ski resort:
Not to perambulate the corridors
in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension
And we bow out with our usual knock knocks
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Midas.
Midas who?
Midas well let me in!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Shirley.
Shirley who?
Shirley you can open the door!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
General Lee.
General Lee who?
General Lee I do not tell jokes!
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