Miscellaneous jokes to start off with
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones!
What happens to cows during an earthquake?
They give
milk shakes!
What's the difference between a teacher and
a train?
A teacher
says "spit out your gum" and a train says "chew,
chew,
chew!"
What's an astronauts favorite place on a computer?
The space
bar!
What washes up on very small beaches?
Micro-waves!
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits!
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then
it would be foot!
Why was the math book sad and depressed?
Because it
had so many problems!
What is faster - heat or cold?
Heat - you
can catch cold!
What question can you never truthfully answer
"yes"?
Are you asleep?
Did you hear about the artist with poor memory?
He kept drawing
a blank!
What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
Quit going
around in circles and get to the point!
Why is the little ant always confused?
Because all
his uncles are ants!
What kind of room has no windows?
A mushroom!
Bumper stickers (only three this time)
She is always late. Her ancestors arrived on
the June Flower.
Change is inevitable - except from a vending
machine.
Dog for sale. Eats anything. Is fond of children.
Book titles (my second favorite next to
bumper stickers)
How to Survive a Bear Attac
by Ben Eaton
How to Check a Pulse
by Izzy Dead
I Was Prepared
by Justin
Case
Why Should I Walk?
by Iona Car
Gotta Go
by C. U. Later
Paris Moments
by I. Phil
Tauer
Long Walk Home
by Miss D.
Buss
Window Coverings
by Kurt N.
Rod
Green Vegetables
by Brock Ali
Getting Fired
by Anita Job
And mercifully, lets end with our usual
knock knocks
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the FBI - open up!
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
House.
House who?
House soon do you want to hear another
joke?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bean.
Bean who?
Bean awhile since I saw you!
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
William.
William who?
William mind quit telling these awful knock
knock jokes?
