Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
"I've had it with your obsession to be
the first robins back each spring."
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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2. high level of work
4. rubs the wrong way
5. relatedly
6. no leg or arm use
7. informal label
8. job qualifications
9. first performance
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1.
human-like mechanics
2. the standards for
3. keep in repair |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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2. undefined period
4. a non-professional
8. touting of products
9. numerical readout
10. left empty, unused
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1.
a practice job
3. legendary
5. within normal bounds
6. fascinated
7. in regular pattern
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
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2.
squeezed together
5. selected for service
8. choice involved
9. water-related
10. sports fishermen
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1.
participant involved
3. job, profession
4. balanced environment
6. involves money
7. animal, plant types
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From
Book Reviews
| Across |
Down |
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2.
cut off, remove
4. parts
6. drooling
9. put up with, accept
10. make big as possible
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1. relative from past
3. simple, undeveloped
5. ship's carved prow
7. a wild plan
8. a copy of something
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Jokes (Let's begin with a mixture)
Why did the frog say "meow"?
He was practicing a foreign
language!
Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights!
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg
in a car crash?
He's all right now!
A customer was bothering a waiter in a restaurant. First,
he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was
too hot. Then he asked that it be turned down because he was
too cold. He kept this up for about half an hour. Surprisingly,
the waiter was very patient. He walked back and forth and never
became angry. So, finally, a second customer asked the waiter
why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh, I really don't mind,"
he said with a smile, "We don't even have an air conditioner."
More Oxymorons
Tight slacks
Twelve-ounce pound cake
Exact estimate
Freezer burn
Definite maybe
Peace force
Sweet sorrow
New classic
Small crowd
Silent scream
Everything except
Bumper stickers (Just a few)
All I want is less to do, more time to do it in, and more pay
for not getting it done.
Nobody's perfect. I'm a nobody.
Your kid may be an honor student; but you are still an IDIOT!
Questions to ponder
Is it okay to use the AM radio after noon?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around, does
he become disoriented?
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a
bald man?
When the dog food is new and improved taste, who tests it?
Why do doctors call what they do "practice?"
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery?"
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of the material
used for the indestructible black box?
And finally our usual knock, knocks
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Tyrone.
Tyrone who?
Tyrone shoe laces!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jess.
Jess who?
Jess me!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Shirley?
Shirley who?
Shirley you know my last name by now!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Red Denny.
Red Denny who?
Red Denny good books lately?
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