Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
"To
them it's garbage. To me it's junk food."
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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1. for distance viewing
4. leveled off numbers
7. importance
9. basic, simple
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2. a
mixture of things
3. plan of learning
5. to do a number count
6. seasonal movements
8. bird classification
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Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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1. organs from another
4. acting in harmony
6. focus on task
8. studies diseases
10. special purpose
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2.
adjusting to changes
3. one who receives
5. living areas
7. kidney treatment
9. layered pasta
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
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4.
to be worsened
8. a mixture of items
9. study of body parts
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1.
a showing
2. cut into parts
3. a managed use
5. bone structure
6. drawing comics
7. school studies
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From
book reviews
| Across |
Down |
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4.
seriously damaged
6. a political killing
7. given new meaning
8. small fighting ship
9. signs, indications
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1. hard to unravel
2. large, hanging light
3. a repeated rhyme
4. honored with medals
5. famous, outstanding
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Jokes (A few school jokes to begin with)
Teacher: "What is the purpose of having school?"
Student: "Without school there wouldn't be a reason for
holidays and summer vacation!"
One kid was so bad his parents went to PTA meetings under an
assumed name!
"Son, I'm worried about you always being at the bottom of the
class."
"Dad, they teach the same
stuff at both ends!"
"The teacher said I must learn to write more legibly," the
child told his mother. "But if I do, she'll learn I can't spell!"
What do you call a duck that get all A's in school?
A wise quacker!
Some riddles
What do you get when you cross an alley cat with a canary?
A Peeping Tom.
What do you call a man who's always wiring for money?
An electrician!
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
Going in one ear and out the
other!
What's a buccaneer?
Too high a price for corn!
Life is tough…but what can you always count on?
Your fingers!
What time is it when your clock strikes thirteen?
Time to get a new clock!
How do you make a goldfish age?
Take out the "g"!
What did the mountain climber name his son?
Cliff!
Why is a lost Dalmatian easily found?
Because it's always spotted!
What kind of horses go out after dark?
Nightmares!
How do you find a lost rabbit?
Easy, just make a noise like
a carrot!
What did the termite say when he walked into the bar?
Is the bar tender here?
What stays in bed most of the day, but sometimes goes to the
bank?
A stream!
What is round and really violent?
A vicious circle!
Why are fish salesmen greedy?
Because their business makes
them sell fish!
Where did the dermatologist start his business?
From scratch!
Define melancholy.
A dog that eats cantaloupes!
Knock, knocks (our usual ending)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Accordion.
Accordion who?
Accordion the weatherman, it's going to rain tomorrow!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut who?
Doughnut ask me any silly questions!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Major.
Major who?
Major open the door, didn't I?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Thad.
Thad who?
Thad's all folks!
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