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Fun & Games

Fun & Games

From "Outside Jokes" book of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)


"He hasn't been out since the thing's been installed."

(Reprinted by permission of artist)

Editor's Note: Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632

Crossword Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can click here to find the answers!

Puzzle #1

Across Down

4. a specific place
6. money given to kids
7. praised for an act
10. a request to attend

1. thought out
2. rules
3. a wild game bird
5. making of gifts
8. area under dome
9. a discussion group


Puzzle #2

Across Down

1. exercise device
5. in second year
6. crosses boundaries
8. selected, chosen
9. advertise
10. represents a team

2. chances
3. built for a purpose
4. three siblings
7. healthy to eat


Puzzle #3

Across Down

4. on opposite team
7. a spice

1. help with school costs
2. not natural
3. serious thought
5. okay to compete
6. parts of a recipe


From book reviews

Across Down

1. a popular pet
6. has military service
7. from another planet
8. not wanting to act
10. Indian tribe

2. pyramid-shaped
3. wild behavior
4. hero's story
5. a special advantage
9. animal skins, furs

 

Jokes (Some riddles for openers)

What do monsters make with cars?
     Traffic jam!

What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken?
     Enough drumsticks to feed an army!

Why shouldn't you take an elephant to the zoo?
     Because he'd rather go to the movies!

What happened to the elephant who ran away with the circus?
     The police made him take it back!

Why are elephants smarter than chickens?
     Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephants?

What do you do if you find a blue elephant?
     Try to cheer him up!

What do you do with old cannon balls?
     Give them to elephants to use as marbles!

What were the last animals to leave Noah's ark?
     Elephants because they had to pack their trunks!

Bumper Stickers (more sophisticated than the riddles)

We have enough youth…What about a fountain of SMART?

If you are psychic, think "HONK".

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal!

Allow me to introduce my selves.

I'm just working here until a good fast food job opens up…

Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done.

Is it time for your medication… or mine?

Don't bother me…I'm living happily ever after.

And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be …?

Adults are just kids who owe money.

Hang up and drive!

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

It works better if you plug it in.

Back up my hard drive? How do you put it in reverse?

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

 

Knock, knocks (our usual ending)

Knock, knock.
     Who's there?
Brewster.
     Brewster who?
Brewster can wake you up in the morning singing cock-a-doodle-do!

Knock, knock.
     Who's there?
Darius.
     Darius who?
Darius a lot I have to tell you!

Knock, knock.
     Who's there?
Diesel.
     Diesel who?
Diesel teach me to go around knocking on doors!

 


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