Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
"Time
to count our blessings, Ike. It's the day after
Thanksgiving and you and I are leftovers."
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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2. predeeds
the event
5. busy, confused
7. unmovable
9. respiratory disease
10. bright, clear
11. a long voyage
12. give 10% to church
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1.
future offspring
3. named as candidate
4. far away
6. inherited feature
8. a smear |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
|
1. to go among
4. vote on issue
7. debatable
8. imaginary, not real
9. dedicated to country
10. modeled upon reality
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1.
degree of difference
2. earthly features
3. in school sports
5. required
6. an exercise machine
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
|
2.
job essentials
3. strongly insist
5. something implied
6. take part in
7. reason to act
10. thrive, prosper
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1.
written limitation
4. stress put upon
8. authentic, true
9. city related
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November
Holidays
| Across |
Down |
|
1.
served mashed
3. red side dish
6. usually in pies
7. started tradition
9. honored Nov. 11th
10. purpose of the day
11. Pearl Harbor Day
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2. Turkey Day
4. served hot
5. in the turkey
7. best not discussed
8. goes over potatoes
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Jokes (our usual odd assortment - and I mean odd!)
What do you do if you break your leg in two places?
Stay away from those places
in the future!
Dad's father has three sons - Snap, Crackle, and ____?
David, of course!
What's the best way to see a flying saucer?
Trip a waiter!
What do you call it when you've been bitten by a big computer?
A megabyte!
Why do bag pipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away
from the noise!
Why does the letter "A" seem like a flower?
Because a "B" always comes
after it!
How do you know your teacher likes you?
She keeps putting X's on your
papers!
Why did the kid eat his homework?
Because it was a piece of cake!
What candle burns longer - a red one or a green one?
Neither; they both burn shorter!
Why is Cinderella a poor basketball player?
Because she has a pumpkin for
a coach!
What's the hardest part about sky diving?
The ground!
What rock group has four men that don't sing?
Mt. Rushmore!
How do you make antifreeze?
Hide her nightgown!
What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May?
A puddle!
One joke for you eggheads
What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic do at night?
He lies awake and wonders if
there really is a dog!
Book Titles (my favorites, next to bumper stickers)
The French Chef
by Sue Flay
Unemployed
by Anita Job
Inflammation, Please
by Arthur It is
Downpour
by Wayne Drops
Cloning
by Ima Double
Irish Flooring
by Lynn O'Leum
Holmes Does It Again
by Scot Linyard
Neither a Borrower
by Nora Lender Be
The Scent of Man
by Jim Nasium
Is O. J. Guilty?
by Howard I. Know
French Overpopulation
by Francis Crowded
House Construction
by Bill Jerome Home
Look Younger
by Fay Slift
No!
by Kurt Reply
Okay, let's end with knock, knocks as usual
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Diesel.
Diesel who?
Diesel be your last chance to open the door!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Daisy.
Daisy who?
Daisy plays, nights he sleeps!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice be the last knock, knock joke?
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