Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
Geese
migrating in vees
Geese
migrating in Humvees
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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2. commitment
to cause
3. six-sided figure
6. emcompassing lines
9. doing many things
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1.
importantly
3. sea-based storm
4. introduce in detail
5. study of newswriting
7. next to/side by side
8. learn exact words |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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2. carries electricity
5. promotes growth
6. a coming together
7. be supportive
8. an event's location
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1.
hard to duplicate
3. small pieces
4. set aside by intent
5. built for a purpose
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
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1.
mix up another way
4. fairly ordinary
5. moves one to act
7. another option
8. treat with a current
9. descriptive numbers
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2.
purposeful altering
3. a relying on
6. comes before
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From
Book Reviews
| Across |
Down |
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2.
surroundings
5. not near anything
7. looking forward to
8. offered free work
10. wreckage
11. wildly unsettled
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1. show capability
3. feel sorrow for loss
4. guessed w/o facts
6. competing groups
9. an uppity group
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Jokes (A few school and Thanksgiving ones to start off with)
Why did Johnny get such low grades after Thanksgiving?
Because everything is marked
down after the holidays!
What happened when the Thanksgiving turkey got into fight?
It got the stuffing knocked
out of it!
"I'm worried about you always being at the bottom of your
class," said the father to his son. "Don't worry, Dad," the
son replied, "They teach the same thing at both ends."
Teacher: How old were you on your last birthday?
Student: Seven.
Teacher: How old will you be on your next birthday?
Student: Nine.
Teacher: That's impossible!
Student: No, it isn't,
Teacher, I'm eight today.
A school teacher was giving a true-false test. He was strolling
up and down the aisles surveying the students at work. He came
upon one student who was flipping a coin, then writing. "What
are you doing?" the teacher asked. "Getting the answers to the
test," was the student's reply. The teacher shook his head and
walked on. A little while later when everyone was finished,
the teacher noticed the student was again flipping the coin.
"Now, what are you doing?" the teacher asked. Answered the student,
"Oh, I'm just checking the answers!"
Here are some crazy questions. Have you ever wondered?
If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way
to the center of the earth?
If the FBI breaks your door down, do they have to pay for it?
You know those signs on restaurant doors - No shirt, no shoes,
no service? What if someone comes in with no pants, would the
restaurant still have to serve them?
Why is it no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles
are always white?
Why do the call someone "late" if they died early?
Why is it when you're sleeping it's called "drool," but when
you are awake it's called "spit?"
How come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you
can, yet the moment you do something childish, they tell you
to grow up?
If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?
Could you be a closet claustrophobic?
Why doesn't broccoli come in a can?
What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8?
Can you read a picture book?
What shape is the sky?
Whenever an adult is kidnapped, why isn't it called adultnapped?
Did Yankee Doodle name the feather, the town, the hat, or his
pony Macaroni?
Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple?
Can a teacher give a homeless child homework?
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
Why is it called "after dark" when it's really "after light?"
A few bumper stickers
Caution: I drive like you do.
Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go.
Watch out for the idiot behind me!
Humpty Dumpty was pushed!
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I hate BUMPER STICKERS!
I have no desire for money. It's stuff that I want!
My other bumper sticker is funny.
Our usual knock, knock finale
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio or not, here I come!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eskimo.
Eskimo who?
Eskimo questions, I'll tell you no lies!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dismay.
Dismay who?
Dismay be a joke, but it doesn't make me laugh!
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