Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
|
2. to
give up something
3. education related
4. stay on task
6. not permanent
8. not professionals
9. a deadly tidal wave
10. a dangerous obstacle
11. prose writing
|
1.
give full attention
5. rules of courtesy
7. one's profession |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
|
1. home of parentless
6. change in design
8. care in use of words
9. offers help for free
10. walk for charity
|
2.
loudness of voice
3. actor's conversation
4. paid performer
5. destructive behavior
7. play's written form
|
Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
|
1.
red-colored bird
6. redone, redesigned
7. ethical quality
8. eligible to compete
9. from Antarctica
|
2.
a drawing
3. gives good advice
4. two game schedule
5. notebook for drawing
|
Halloween
Connections
| Across |
Down |
|
3.
worn once a year
4. hope you don't need
6. part of costume
9. turned into lanterns
11. vampire teeth
|
1. at schools, malls
2. matched with treats
3. scene of parties
5. prowl on Halloween
7. have to bob for
8. often knock knocks
10. fills treat bags
|
A few school jokes (Ah, Teach, you know we're just kidding)
My teacher reminds me of history; she's always repeating herself!
Teacher: Did your parents help you with these math homework
problems?
Student: No, Ms. Smith, I got them all wrong
by myself!
Father: What did the teacher think of your idea?
Son: She took it like a lamb.
Father: Really! What did she say?
Son: Baa!
Teacher: Why did the pioneers cross the country in
covered wagons?
Student: Because they didn't want to wait forty
years for a train!
Who invented King Arthur's round table?
Sir Cumference!
Teacher: What are the Great Plains?
Student: 747, Concorde, and F-16!
Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class?
Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!
Why was George Washington buried at Mt. Vernon?
Because he was dead!
Teacher: Do you understand the importance of punctuation?
Student: Oh, yes, Ms. Jones: I always get to
school on time!
Boy: I think our school must be haunted.
Father: Why is that?
Boy: Because the principal is always talking about school
spirit!
Why did the schoolboy hate decimals?
Because he couldn't see the
point!
More Bumper Stickers (Sorry, but you know I love 'em)
You! Off my planet!
Ambivalent? Well, yes and no…
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Is it time for your medication or mine?
And your cry baby, whiney opinion would be…?
It works better if you plug it in!
"Very funny, Scotty! Now beam down my clothes!"
Hang up and drive!
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Hard work has a future pay-off; laziness pays off now.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
A penny saved is …ridiculous!
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
Always remember, you are unique …Just like everyone else.
Eschew obfuscation.
Too many freaks … not enough circuses.
And we sign off with knock, knocks
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Summer.
Summer who?
Summer here, summer there!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jamaica.
Jamaica who?
Jamaica call to your mother?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive here, so let me in!
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