A small boy visiting the U.S. Senate with his father asked him: 
“What does the Chaplain of Congress do?”
“Well, son, he stands up, looks at the Congress, and prays for the country,” the father answered.

A candidate for office was scheduled to be a luncheon speaker.  During the meal the president of the organization hosting the luncheon turned to the politician and asked:  “Are you ready to speak or should we let them enjoy themselves for awhile?”

Why did they have to bury Washington standing up?
      Because he would never lie.

Why was Washington buried at Mt. Vernon, Virginia and Lincoln in Springfield, Illinois?
     Because they were dead.

What did Abe Lincoln do with his boots when he wore them out?
     He wore them back home again.

What does the U.S.A produce that no other country can?
     American citizens.

What did Benjamin Franklin say when he discovered the lightening rod?
     Nothing, he was too shocked.

Hey, we’re still waiting for you to send us better jokes!  E-mail them to us at the address in YOUR Turn and we’ll print them with your name.