Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
"No,
your class will not watch him turn into a frog.
Now take your baby brother out of that jar
and put him back where he belongs."
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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4. a
pointing toward
6. regular procedure
8. achievements
9. accidental occurence
10. stringed instrument
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1.
a martial art
2. focus on winning
3. a peace maker
5. a cutting apart
7. one in opposition |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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2. order in importance
4. scented mixture
6. award to pay costs
9. hesitant, unwilling
10. dangerous obstacles
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1.
look forward to
3. tied together
5. sleeping quarters
7. schooling costs
8. frantic, disoriented
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
|
1.
on the job practice
3. the way one lives
5. riding competitions
8. treatment by cutting
9. deals with x-rays
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1.
needed inner parts
2. without germs
4. one who treats
6. surgical tool
7. wet, mushy
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From
Book Reviews
| Across |
Down |
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2.
prize for winning
6. custom, expectation
8. unexpected meetings
9. shelf over fireplace
10. has unusual talents
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1. dog species
3. laughter inciting
4. many-toothed fish
5. non-existing status
7. stands alone
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Jokes (corny riddles to start with)
How did Christopher Columbus finance his trip to America?
With the Discover Card, of
course!
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court
room?
Odor in the court!
Why did the elephant eat the candle?
He wanted a light snack!
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it's over your
head!
Why did Tony go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a
date!
Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed!
Why was the pelican kicked out of the hotel?
Because his bill was too big!
Why can't a leopard hide?
Because he's always spotted!
What do bulls do when they go shopping?
They charge!
When do you stop at green and go at red?
When you're eating watermelon!
What happens to a hamburger that misses too many days of school?
He has a lot of ketchup time!
What did the hamburger name his daughter?
Patty!
What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?
You're too little to smoke!
What did the painter say to the wall?
Any more cracks like that and
I'll plaster you!
How do you make a hotdog stand?
You steal its chair!
Some oxymorons (Yes, the list is endless)
Optional assignment
Act naturally
Adult children
All alone
Authentic replica
Benign neglect
Bitter sweet
Clearly ambiguous
Guest host
Boring entertainment
Easy payments
Front end
Canned fresh
Dull shine
And our knock, knock finale
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Honey bee.
Honey bee who?
Honey, be a dear and get me a soda!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Tom.
Tom who?
Tom on, you know who I am!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Roach.
Roach who?
Roach you a letter, didn't you get it?
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