Fun
& Games
From "Outside Jokes" book
of wildlife cartoons
(Copyright: Betty C. Grace)
"You
kids look both ways before crossing the creek.
I don't want you getting hit by a gar."
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(Reprinted by permission
of artist)
Editor's Note:
Copies of the "Outside Jokes" book are on
sale through:
The Nature Shop, Missouri Department of Conservation
P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102-018
or call toll free: 887-521-8632
Crossword
Puzzles
When you have completed the puzzles, you can
click here to find
the answers!
Puzzle
#1
| Across |
Down |
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5. future
promise
8. diverts attention
9. stress unimportance
10. limited, controlled
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1.
eats only vegetables
2. bargaining
3. needs special tools
4. required
6. kept track of
7. fuel |
Puzzle #2
| Across |
Down |
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3. catchable condition
7. not exact depiction
8. essential element
9. musical group
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1.
wide-ranging edict
2. sing Christmas songs
3. type of tree
4. wide-use programming
5. dangerous winds
6. education fee
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Puzzle
#3
| Across |
Down |
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1.
use bow and arrow
4. must come before
6. large, roomy
7. examine closely
8. green vegetable
9. put back together
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2.
plant specialist
3. beauty specialty
5. troublesome pests
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From
book reviews
| Across |
Down |
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2.
bright, colorful
4. unfriendly, reserved
6. a chance at success
8. shipwreck survivors
9. trip, journey
10. unexplainable event
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1. oil, made into fuel
3. treats animals
5. undersea vessels
7. endurance
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School Jokes (Recycled from the July 2002 issue)
Teacher: Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?
Student: Sure, since the Bible tells how Joseph served
in Pharaoh's court!
Teacher: Did the Native Americans hunt bear?
Student: Not in the winter!
Teacher: "Class, the next question I ask I want all
of you to answer at once. Now, how much is seven plus five?"
Students: "At once!"
Teacher: Tommy, that's a bad cough you have there. What
are you taking for it?
Tommy: I don't know, teacher. What will you give me?
What are the small rivers that flow into the Nile?
The juve-niles!
Student: My teacher was mad at me today because I didn't
know where the Rockies were.
Mother: Well, next time remember where you put things!
Teacher: Tommy, you missed school yesterday, didn't
you?
Tommy: Not very much!
Teacher: Tommy, why were you late today?
Tommy: I overslept.
Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!
What was Camelot famous for?
Its knight life!
Mother: How were the exam questions today?
Student: Oh, they were easy.
Mother: Then, why do you look so unhappy?
Student: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just
the answers!
Student: Today, my teacher yelled at me for something
I didn't do.
Mother: What was that?
Student: My homework!
Other Jokes (Just as bad, or worse)
Pam: Does your dog have a license?
Sam: No, she's not old enough to drive!
Pam: I lost my cat.
Sam: That's too bad. Did you put an ad in the paper?
Pam: That wouldn't help. My cat can't read!
Thee was a lady going to Disneyland. She saw a sign on the
highway that said, "Disneyland left." So she turned around and
went home.
A policeman spotted a man driving a car with a tiger sitting
next to him. The police officer stopped the man and said. "It's
against the law to have a tiger in your car. Take that tiger
to the zoo." The next day, the officer saw the same man with
the tiger still in his car. The officer said, "I thought I told
you to take that tiger to the zoo!" The driver replied, "I did
and he liked it. So today we're going to the beach!"
Let's end this torture with a couple of knock knocks
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Turnip.
Turnip, who?
Turnip the air conditioning, I'm smothering!
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Stopwatch.
Stopwatch who?
Stopwatch you're doing right now!
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